Saturday, April 17, 2010

Ten signs your shrink is crazier than you

(I would use the word "Psychiatrist" if it wasn't too damn long, so please allow me to use the more popular name - shrink. And also, ummmm, this is sarcastic.)

Have you ever been to a shrink? If your answer is yes, that means you have had some issues (which I am not going to meddle with, because I know it's private, and I really don't care.) You have probably been on one of those couches, and while staring at an Edward Cullen poster on the shrink's ceiling (he believes it to be therapeutic), you must have been asked a series of personal questions, relevant to your state of mind, such as "Have you been intimate to a squid for the last forty-eight hours?"

After all those $500 per hour sessions (plus the $600 night club visits if the shrink was not enough), how do you know for sure if the shrink himself is mentally stable to listen to your rants. How do you know if he isn't crazier than thou? These are the ten signs your shrink is crazier than you.

1. "The thigh bone connected to the knee bone" is something he should not say.

2. The biggest certificate on his wall is "Apple County Hotdog Eating Champion."

3. He sells you Sigmund Freud action figures.

4. He always holds a tobacco.

5. His conclusion to all your failed relationships is "He/she must be the Antichrist."

6.  He cancels your shrink session to attend his own shrink session.

7. He calls you "Depression Dude."

8. He has three pictures on his wall: Sigmund Freud, Dr. Phil and Ozzy Osbourne

9. He pays real and genuine attention to your problems.

10. He lets you read my blog.


  1. There's really a Freud action figure or is that just made up?

  2. Make an article about food :)

  3. @pviron well I was thinking of the joke before I saw an image from photobucket. It is true. Well it's not hard to believe since people are already making emo hitler dolls.

    @Anonymous - I have written a few posts about food (well if you consider cigarettes and beer as such). Thanks for the suggestion, I shall make one

  4. That does make up for "decent" description of a crazy shrink. But honestly, instead of mentioning how sarcastic you are in the beginning of the post and everywhere in the description of your blog wouldn't it be better if you just let your work speak for itself?
    [ Putting it up there like a warning, "I'm being sarcastic....." takes the real essence out of sarcasm, seems like you are way too worried about offending people who might not understand sarcasm otherwise. ]
    "Sarcasm thrives on people who are dumb enough to not get it, so let the divide be there."

  5. @Ani that is true. I know that and I hate having to put disclaimers. The reason I put those warnings is because I have been in trouble before because of a post. Man, alive I was almost banned from a blogging community. Believe me, I don't like putting disclaimers either.

  6. - What's the biggest difference between a shrink and his intelligent patient?

    - The patient gets paid for the session.

    Otherwise it's the shrink who gets the fee.

    In other words, I must be the dumb one.

    (Now guess if I am a shrink or a patient) :-D


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