Monday, July 4, 2011

Why it sucks to be a humor writer (sometimes)

I must be the only writer in the world who doesn't like to write. It is because I have realized that when you mainly write for the internet, you get to the point when you have to think of your article's marketability first before its content. That is why I sometimes end up writing stuff about hating Twilight or Justin Bieber just to please people, though I actually couldn't care less about them.

I hate writing because I cannot write for my own amusement anymore ( no, not thinking of writing erotica bro). You have to learn the latest in internet memes, scandals and all the crap people like so you'll have a marketable content. That is why I join the sentiment of hundreds of other humor writers out there who are sick and tired of having to write about Edward Cullen's buttcheeks and how its too full of glitters and sh*t (yeah, its probably just full of sh*t but so are other buttcheeks). Don't get me wrong. I enjoy writing funny stuff, but sometimes its really just sucks like M Night Shyamalan movies.

I have been a writer since I was 9, but I only started with comedy late 2008-ish. Since then, these are the things I have come to hate.

1. People realize you're not as funny in real life - I mean, have you met me? I probably am the unfunniest person you've ever seen. Lesson number 1: Sarcastic doesn't automatically equate to funny.

2. Some people find you offensive - I have gotten into trouble once for joking about stuff. But I won't tell because you'd probably get offended too.

3. You are compelled to write about Justin Bieber - the internet is a Justin-Bieber-hating world. That is why it has become a rule for comedy writers to hate Justin Bieber as much as possible, at all times necessary.

4. Grammar Nazi - Other writers, especially those who don't really write comedy always pick on your punctuation and grammar and sh*t. Of course grammar is an important tool in writing unless you're writing "I can haz cheezburger" macros. I also admit I'm not quite the person you ask for grammar advice, but it should be admitted that it is always annoying when the grammar nazis correct your grammar in a "I'm a better writer than you and I have read every sh*t Shakespeare had written" attitude. Wow. That was long.

 5. Emergence of Tumblr - I'll tell my reasons later.

I should re-title this to: 5 pathetic reasons why Asher is too lazy to write. Don't worry guys. Okay maybe just worry a little. I just got to pull my sh*t together so I can go back to writing for realz. Lets just say I'm having some personal "issues" with writing and stuff.

Also, is the plural form of Nazi, Nazos?

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