How about THIS for a Resolution

My persistence in keeping New Year Resolutions is as strong as my persistence in eating Chinese with a straw.


I've made a lot of resolutions; eat more vegetables, get a decent haircut, be less sarcastic, be more sarcastic. A few I got through three (broccoli diet and decent hair-cut degraded to bad hair) months. Most only got through the New year hangover.


So I decided one major decision that will change my every "What's your New Year's Resolution" conversations for the years to come. I made the very resolution I'm sure to keep:


I will not make any New Year's Resolutions, ever.


That's right. Aside from my perfection (you can throw that squishy tomato towards the screen right now) I only come up with automatic resolutions whenever someone corners me and starts the "Here we go again, what's your new year's resolution" conversation.

Speaking of resolutions, Rome takes the winner New Year's Resolution for holding the very last gladiatorial competition, (computed modern date) January 1, 404

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Yeah I'm late, whatever)