Don't you call me that, today's my birthday (whoa, there's immunity?), and unlike some weird people, I only have one of it. That is why though millions of birthday celebrants today claim this as their day, I'm still happy I don't get to land on a date like Feb, 29. Practically, I highly prefer a birthday party with all the goodies, clowns and parlor games, but maturity dictates me to do something boring called "booze with buddies."
Birthdays. Why do we celebrate it? Since my last birthday, about 31,536,000 seconds have passed (Yes, Jack, I counted.) I've only had three haircuts since my last birthday, (It's because I feel frail and weak before a pair of scissors.) 76,570,430 people had been added to the world's population since you blowed your last birthday candle. An average garden snail (you know, the one you saw in your living room last week while shouting "snake, there's a snake in the room!") travels about 0.3 mph. If it gave you a weird birthday present of walking non-stop till your next birthday, it'd have traveled 263 miles.
Why we celebrate it.? Because all of the statistical data I've mentioned just made another year of our lives sound cooler (high-5).
Happy Birthday to me, and to the millions who selfishly claims this day as their own.
